Second Blog Attack

The old blog, www.jameswilliamsautism.wordpress.com, was attacked by spam, similar to my older blog, www.jameswilliamsautism.blogspot.com. While I could erase the spam in the blogs, I have lost and forgotten the password and username information for these blogs, thus making them inaccessible. 

I am thus relocating a second time to this blog, www.jamesmwilliamsautism.wordpress.com. The questions from the two prior blogs will be moved here, onto the post “Archived Questions from Past Blogs.” This blog is designed to look the same as the past blog.

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3 Responses to “Second Blog Attack”

  1. katie s. Says:

    Hi James.
    So how did you get through high school with knowing you had Autism. and how did your other peers treat you during your school time?

    Im another student with Autism, high functioning. and i recently transferred to a private school. im a junior, but i spent K-10 in public schools, i got bullied by peers, thats why i transferred.

    Did you ever get bullied as a student?
    please respond back.

  2. James Williams Says:

    My high school experience was unique and unlike the typical high school student’s experience. It was the uniqueness of my experience that made my high school experience successful. First, I did not attend high school from middle school—rather, I attended high school after being homeschooled for the past 7 years while attending my high school part time. I never attended middle school—rather, I was homeschooled the entire time. Second, I was older when I went to high school than a typical student. I did not return to full time high school until I was 19, and graduated two months before my 22nd birthday after 3 years. Third, I had a group of friends that helped me navigate the social maze of my high school.

    I was bullied as a student. Some of my peers bullied me, others accepted me. There was a gender split to the bullying, however. Boys that were not autistic or disabled tended to bully me, while I was accepted more by girls. The boys made a big deal over the fact that I wasn’t hooking up with girls or lying about it, and because I wasn’t athletic and into sports. While not all of the boys made fun of me, all the friends I made in high school that were not autistic or disabled were girls. I pretty much had a social life comprised entirely of female friends—almost every person who texted or called me outside of school was a girl, and almost every person I hung out with outside of school was a girl, or other boys with autism and other disabilities.

    These girls were from very different cliques and were from all four grades. Having mostly female friends suited me and helped me, as I could be myself with them in ways that I could not be with other guys. At the same time, many of my female friends who were autistic and/or disabled were having the opposite experience—they had mostly guy friends and were more accepted by them.

    I got through high school with the help of my female friends—they accepted me for who I was and glossed over my autistic quirks, seeing me as a genuinely nice guy who was nice because of my autism. They saw my autism as a good thing, not a bad thing. However, our friendships were hardly what any adult would consider appropriate, and neither did we conform to the standard social rules in our high school. Rather, my female friends and I created our own social rules that we agreed to follow. While each clique I hung out with had different rules that we created, every group of girls I successfully became friends with verbally told me what those rules were, and what rules we would rebel against.

    By abiding by these rules and others, they accommodated and glossed over my autistic quirks, and I had a wonderful, full social life full of shopping trips, lunch groups each day, getting coffee with friends, and the occasional late night visit with girls who felt that their parents’ prohibition against letting me go to their house for a sleepover was an unfair rule, and who snuck out of their homes to see me to defy their parents.

    And it didn’t bother me that my female friends and I discussed boyfriend dramas, bad hair days, menstruation, and body image issues on a regular basis. No one of my female friends was open about everything, and everyone had a different comfort level of discussion, but I learned how to respect the boundaries in some of my friends and the lack of boundaries in others, since my friends were extremely verbal about what rules I had to follow to fit in. Thus, no rules were unwritten. In addition, these inappropriate conversations protected me from bullies later on–when anyone bullied me, all I had to do was bring up what my friends and I talked about and they’d run and hide.

    Good luck with private school, I hope it works out well for you. Sometimes private school is what is needed to succeed.

  3. Bobby Says:

    Hello james my name is Bobby and i am from india.I am 16 years old and i am in 11th standerd.i too have autism though i am able to communicate a little better than other autistic people.i have problem getting through the interviews because it is very difficult for me to look in the eyes and make an eye to eye contact and i am also a stammer i have a lot of difficulty in speaking.i dont have a lot of friends and the friends that i have are not very good.i need someone to talk to, i need someone like myself please reply me fast.you can Email me my email is “bobbyverma96@yahoo.in”.Please reply i need your advice i hope you can understand me.

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